“If These Were My Last Words” (or, Advice for the Living)
As my family has been dealing with my stapfather’s passing, my father was dealing with the passing of his longtime friend, Jerry Baliles, a great human being— known publicly as The Honorable Gerald L Baliles, a former governor of Virginia and a great leader. At an invitation-only weekend retreat (Renaissance Weekend XV) over New Year’s 1993–94, Baliles wrote the following speech for his assigment (2 hours for 3-minute speech of ‘final words’). This speech offers the most inspirational ‘final words’ I’ve ever read, and they seem even more timely now. In fact, it was used as his eulogy when he passed recently. Again, these are his words, not mine — I share them because they should be shared, read, and used as guidance for a better society. [I have retained the usage, punctation, and line spacing from his type-written speech.]
“If These Were My Last Words” — The Honorable Gerald L. Baliles
I would charge those who remain
to remember
that life goes on, and they must go forward,
recalling Jefferson’s admonition that the earth belongs to the living,
that while we should remember our past, and learn from it,
we must not become prisoners of it.
I would charge those who remain
to make diversity of our nation a source of strength rather than a force for division.
I would charge those who remain
to keep our country always free and restless,
energetic, curious about our physical world and our inner space,
committed to faith and families as well as fun and fortune,
to social development as well as economic progress.
I would urge those who remain
to remember
that the measure of a civilization is its degree of enlightenment,
its commitment to education,
the promotion of the arts,
the treatment of the less fortunate;
its seriousness of purpose
and yet its ability to laugh at its foibles and the ironies of life.
I would charge those who remain
to remember
that we are citizens of a culture as well as a country,
and that there are obligations that go with that status;
and that among those are the promotion of learning,
the preservation of democratic values,
and the protection of our people against violence and discrimination.
I would charge those who remain
to remember
that learning comes more from listening than lecturing,
that there is a difference between discussing and demanding;
between receiving and reacting.
For life is a license:
to be lived fully and forcefully; to make a difference in the work of changed that has so telescoped time and distance
and blurred the distinction between information and knowledge,
between words and wisdom.
So, I would charge those who remain
to embrace change, not fear it;
to take its measure,
determine its direction and understand its dimensions;
for change is constant and often chaotic;
but if it can be harnessed it can be shaped for the good of humanity.
Finally, I would charge those who remain
to remember
that a civilization must be civilized,
that civility must be cultivated,
for it is the social glue that holds the fabric of our society together.
Kindness counts;
good manners can move mountains.
The power of passion and forces of energy are always with us
and are necessary elements of ideas and actions,
but it is reason that can guide that passion
and civility that can harness that energy for the public good.
So, if these were my last words,
I would remind those who remain behind,
that they still possess the gift of life,
the length of which is not guaranteed;
but then the measure of life is not in its length
but in the length of its shadow.
And if life can be poetry in motion,
then remember the wistful words of Robert Frost
in “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.”
He wrote:
I have promises to keep
and miles to go before I sleep,
and miles to go before I sleep.
